Once you’ve found the right person for your home, whether it’s a nanny, chef, or personal assistant, you hope they’ll stay with your family for years to come. You can’t prepare for everything the future holds but there are certain measures you can take to encourage longevity in your employees. Long-term employees, especially in the domestic setting, make life easier for everyone, including your family, other staff, and vendors.�� A household with high turnover requires more time, money, and effort from the principal and key staff members than one with efficient long-term staff. This week, we’ve compiled some of our top recommendations to improve staff satisfaction and increase the chances of a long-term placement. You can find our top tips for welcoming a new member of staff to your home here.��

Set Staff Up For Success

Give staff the best chance for long-term success by making sure you have strong onboarding and training measures in place. Provide a handbook or summary of expectations when appropriate; setting clear expectations from the start can avoid problems down the line. Sometimes, training with the team member they’re replacing can be helpful if time and circumstances allow. If the job requires speciality tools or technology, make sure those are up to date and in good order or open a line of communication for the staff member to let you know if not. Listen to suggestions from staff regarding maintenance or upgrades for tools they use regularly to do their job. Make sure the new team member knows who to go to with questions or concerns as they arise. If you aren’t sure if your house is set up properly, BAHS does offer home staffing assessments to assist with this.

Pay a Fair Market-Rate Wage

It is critical to ensure that you’re paying a fair wage to all employees. If you aren’t sure what the market rate is in your area, British American can help guide you. Make sure that you’re complying with overtime laws and��guaranteeing a weekly number of hours for your staff. Employees desire consistency in terms of pay; in most circumstances, you should pay employees for an agreed minimum number of hours worked even when you’re out of town and don’t need as many hours. Finally, make sure that all staff have a sustainable schedule; this should include reasonable daily hours and two consecutive days off for regular schedules (of course rotational schedules will be handled differently.) Staff need time to rest and recharge to avoid burnout. If there are times of the year that require a more intense effort (for example, summer in the Hamptons or the holiday season), consider offering a few extra paid days off afterwards to reset before returning to work.

Offer Benefits That Improve Their Life

Consider what other benefits your family can offer staff to make them feel appreciated and to make the job more appealing. Benefits like health insurance and a monthly metro card can go a long way towards making staff feel taken care of. Small gestures, like offering meals and a paid cab ride home after working late, are also helpful.

Give Words of Affirmation

Most staff want feedback on how they are doing and praise for a job well done. A simple “good job” or “thank you” can greatly increase job satisfaction. Reiterate to staff every once in a while that they are integral to the family and that you recognize their contributions. Gestures like remembering a staff member’s birthday with a card or small gift are wonderful; allowing staff to leave early when possible before a holiday sends the message that you appreciate their time and understand they have a life outside of work.

Communicate Clearly and Often

Communication is key. Life can change quickly and we need to be able to count on our staff as it does. However, you’ll want to make sure you do so in a way that respects their time and their job description. For example, if the workload suddenly increases during the holiday season, have a conversation with your employee to find out if the extra hours are manageable for them or if you need to bring in temporary support. If the job description is going to change long-term – for example if you adopt a new pet or acquire a second home – talk about these upcoming changes with the employee and review any new expectations. It’s always best to communicate with an employee rather than assume they are comfortable taking on new tasks. Depending on the circumstances, an increase in wages may be appropriate – for example when a nanny takes on caring for an additional child, a raise is usually offered. Schedule weekly or monthly check-ins with staff to give feedback and to listen to their concerns.

Support Professional Development

Show your staff you care by offering a stipend for professional development, including classes and workshops to improve their job skills. Allocate a set number of days or hours they can use (paid) to attend these types of courses.

Respect Time Off

When an employee has requested time off and is away from your home, try your best to respect that time off. Personal assistants and house managers are often fundamental to running the home, but they should have a plan in place for when they are out of office. Of course, it may be appropriate to contact them in an emergency or with a quick question but remember, they’ll be better and more committed when they’re on the job if they can truly take a break when they’re off.

Show Gratitude

A simple handwritten thank you card, birthday card, or holiday greeting shows your employee that you care. We love Crane & Co.’s classic and quality engraved Thank You Cards, as well as Rifle Paper’s playful and personalized notecards. We’ve gathered our top tips for showing your gratitude to your nanny here.��

Give a Bonus or Holiday Gift

A bonus is always an appreciated and appropriate year-end gift. Gift cards are another welcome option. Gift hampers full of sweet treats or charcuterie can make lovely gifts, as well. You may also choose to offer extra paid days off around the holidays if they suit your schedule. For example, offering a day or two after a holiday to allow for travel back and rest is usually appreciated by employees who may travel to see family. Some employers may choose to offer a round-trip ticket home if the staff member is from another area or country. For some jobs, this isn’t realistic – they may require extra hours and time worked during the holidays; in these instances, it may be possible to offer future time off – a few days in the new year, for example. Consider your situation and your employee’s priorities to come up with perks that makes sense for everyone. You can find our guidelines for domestic staff bonuses here.��

Offer Support

The holiday season and the summer season can be busy times in homes; if you have many catered events, parties, extensive travel, or late nights during select months, offer support to your staff by doing frequent check-ins. Do they need an extra set of hands to clean up after big parties? Can you offer a later start-time after a busy and late evening event? Can you have the weekend nanny come in for a weekday to help with coverage? If your staff member has been traveling with your family non-stop, can you offer an evening off to spend as they wish? Each family’s needs are different but offering support or downtime shows your staff you are thankful for the help and considerate of their needs, as well.

Related Blog Posts��

Introducing A New Staff Member To Your Home

Top Mistakes Employers Make When Hiring Household Staff

Guidelines for Domestic Staff Bonuses

Top Tips For Showing Your Gratitude To Your Nanny

Tips For Handling Nanny Sick Days��

5 Tips for Respectful Employer Dynamics From The Modern Nanny

Household Staff & Taxes: Your Questions Answered

Domestic Staffing: Dress Code vs Uniform

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Countries have different rules regarding vaccination status and testing but almost all destinations currently require masks in indoor, public areas (). With a bit of planning, you can have a wonderful and safe winter trip.

Aspen, Colorado

Aspen is open and accepting visitors for all mountains. Masks are currently required in all indoor public spaces throughout Aspen, regardless of vaccination status. Most outdoor spaces do not require masks, but it varies from business to business. Many of the hotels, including our favorite The Little Nell, require proof of vaccination for all overnight and dining guests aged 12 and over. All three of����dining areas,��Element 47,��Ajax Tavern��and��The Wine Bar, are fully open, as is their 24-hour in-room dining and the complimentary mini-bar. The amenities are now open as well, including the sauna and spa, and twice per day housekeeping service (of course, if you’d prefer less, that can be arranged, as well). For concerned or high-risk visitors, call the hotel concierge ahead of your visit; they would be happy to assist with private transportation, one-on-one ski lessons, or a private visit to their wine cellar. If you’d prefer more space and privacy, consider booking a private chalet through��; we love this��, featuring exposed wood beams, rustic charm, a full kitchen, fireplaces throughout, and a hot tub.

Megève, France

Per French law, anyone over 12 years old entering restaurants, bars, or spas will be asked to present proof of COVID-19 vaccination or a COVID-19 test (rapid antigen or PCR) showing a negative result taken within the past 72 hours. Most luxury hotels require the same at check-in, as well as mandatory masking in indoor common areas. While there are several hotels in the area that offer consistently excellent service, including the��and��Armancette, our top choice this year is����due to its secluded location and spacious accommodations. Book one of the suites (Suite 1 is the largest and our preference) to enjoy mountain views, a large patio, fireplace, private dining room, office space, and two bedrooms. Be sure to take proper safety precautions while traveling in France as it is still on the CDC’s list of��(Very High Risk).

Whistler, Canada��

British Columbia’s top ski destination is a favorite for families as the village centre is��completely free of cars. Whistler’s village is a lovely area to explore with your family. Canada is open only to fully vaccinated individuals from other countries. While restaurants remain open, bars, pubs any other venues that don’t serve full meals are currently closed due to Covid-19. Social distancing is enforced in all public venues and masks must be worn. In Whistler, we recommend the classic��Four Seasons; the hotel offers private walking paths and��complimentary shuttle service to all the villages, as well as a beloved tavern, a steakhouse, and spacious accommodations.����to enjoy a private whirlpool on the balcony surrounded by panoramic forest views.��Canada is on the CDC’s list of��Level 3 Covid Destinations (High).

Virgin Gorda, British Virgin Islands

If you’re looking for a safe escape to warm weather, consider the British Virgin Islands – they are ranked as a Level 1 Covid Risk (Low) by the CDC . The entry process is a bit more rigorous than other locations and does require testing but is very doable if you’re fully vaccinated. If you’re not fully vaccinated, or a member of your party is not, you will have to adhere to stricter quarantine guidelines, but a long trip could make it worth it.����Visitors are asked to wear masks in all public indoor locations and any time they are in a crowd. Once your Covid-19 test and vaccination status have been approved, head to�� for unbeatable luxury. Depending on the level of privacy you seek, book a room, suite, or villa to enjoy the hotel’s luxurious spa, private beach, pool, tennis courts, sailboats, and��multiple restaurants embracing local��Caribbean flavors. Each of the spacious private villas has a private pool and dedicated butler; these are an excellent choice for a private and safe beach getaway.

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ABOUT ZOLA:��
Zola is an experienced property expert whose energy, congeniality, and passion hope to make the entire real estate process fun and exciting for her clients. She is always willing to go the extra mile to achieve her clients’ goals, and her patience, calmness, and breadth of knowledge instill confidence in everyone she works with.

“We can never see too many listings,” she says. “That’s part of the education process. I want you to love your new space and enjoy the experience of finding it.”

Zola has more than eight years of experience in luxury rentals, new developments, and sales. She promotes trust through honesty and confidentiality, and she seeks to educate and inform whenever she can. Zola works with domestic and international clients all over the city and is a member of the Tricia Lee Team.

A native of Sydney, Australia, Zola came to New York in 2003 and never left. She lives on the Upper West Side, one of the city’s most vibrant areas. She loves the ambiance, vitality, and culture that the city offers. In her free time, Zola enjoys listening to live music, specifically classical and jazz. She also goes to the theatre as much as she can. She is into fitness and ran the 2021 NYC Marathon, and she is passionate about travel. Other pastimes include reading and staying in touch with family who still reside in Australia.

How did you get into the real estate profession?

Through my good friend��Brian! He introduced me to my first firm Douglas Elliman in 2014 and I’ve never looked back.�� I rented my first apartment on the first day and knew this was it.�� In those 8 years, I’ve been fortunate enough to work in some really great and upcoming areas of New York City.

Also, being from Sydney, I’ve been so lucky��to explore some really unique parts of the city and homes in the city too.

What do you enjoy the most about being a real estate agent?

I really enjoy helping people find their perfect space. The NYC real estate market is chaotic and the search for or selling of your home can be stressful. I love making the transaction��as effortless��and easy as possible.�� I also really enjoy helping my international clients navigate��their way through this city and helping them find their perfect��investment opportunity too.

Being from Sydney, I’ve been so lucky��to explore some really unique parts of the city and homes in the city too.

I also love working with people, and more importantly, having fun with it all!

How would you describe the NYC real estate market at the moment?��

Buzzing. Not enough inventory and we’re in a complete seller’s��market. Due to the International borders opening in early November, we’re seeing an influx of international buyers aggressively back and purchasing.�� They make up 31 percent of the market.����More apartments were sold in Manhattan in the third quarter than at any other time in the last 32 years. This says it all.

As you said, the market is buzzing at the moment. What would you say buyers are looking for and prioritizing?��

It is! We are struggling with inventory. Buyers are definitely prioritizing space at the moment, bonus for outdoor space, especially with the new hybrid home/work situation. Location is always a priority but proximity to parks and outdoor usable space is high on the list.

What neighborhood do you think is the most up and coming?��

JUST ONE?!�� Midtown. Lower East Side. East Harlem. Flatbush. Downtown BK.

What’s the most challenging part of the luxury real estate market?��

The most challenging part we’re having right now is inventory. With the borders re-opened to international buyers, the luxury market is ultra competitive right now

On the transaction side, it’s really about maintaining the expectation of the seller. It’s finding the common ground between realistic pricing from the seller and�� the negotiability of the buyer.

What advice would you give to those trying to sell currently?��

There has never been a better time. Have your property market-ready.

What are the top qualities you look for in a listing that you know will make it attractive to buyers?

Modern renovation is key. Smart homes are big too. Again, proximity to outdoor space,�� and having access to schools and neighborhood amenities are ideal too.

Many people moved out of NYC and into the suburbs during Covid-19. Do you see those people returning now?

Absolutely. We saw a lot of people flee to their vacation homes, including a huge amount of the rental market. With the re-opening of NYC this summer, people are back! Real Estate data shows that we have more people moving to the city than we did in 2019.

What suburbs near NYC are the most popular at the moment? Are there any areas you particularly love?��

Hamptons, Upstate and Hudson New York, and as a whole South Florida. I adore the Hudson region. With it being just under 2 and a half hours north of the city, it’s the perfect place for a weekend getaway or vacation home.

What’s the market like in the Hamptons at the moment?��

Similar to that of the city. Very limited inventory, especially with owners looking to expand their space and it being a strong seller’s market.

What distinguishes Serhant from other top real estate agencies? What can clients expect when working with you or a member of the Serhant team?��

What makes Serhant unique is the innovative merge of media and real estate. There is��NO other firm doing this right now.

We have a 25 person in house production that uses mixed media and luxury video tours to market our listings.�� They are produced on every platform, and go live right away which is beyond advantageous to both the buyer and seller.

We live in a world today where video listings/tours are how buyers are vetting potential properties. Serhant has mastered that.

What to expect? Besides having up to date knowledge of the luxury market, clients can expect access to off market luxury listings and user-friendly platforms that allow buyers access to inventory right away.

With me, your Real Estate experience will not only be educational, but we’ll enjoy all parts of it too! This should be a positive experience.

You focus on New York primarily, is that correct? What other areas does Serhant service?��

Yes, I primarily focus on the��NYC area but we also service the South Florida, Hamptons and greater LA markets.

What trends do you foresee for 2022?��

Again, I don’t see a change in the limited inventory, at least in the first quarter.�� The Fed has predicted an increase in interest rates which I believe will influence buyers to move more quickly. What trends most excited me most right now are the move to smart homes and using��digital currency for transactions! Wow!

Favorite part of NYC?��

I absolutely adore every part of New York City! It is my second home of course after Sydney. There is a true favourite of course and that’s the Upper West Side. It’s where I call home and I wouldn’t��live anywhere else! From both Central Park and Riverside Park,�� to the plethora of live music venues and theatres,�� to all the amazing restaurants and cafes, this part of NYC captures my heart the most. And it’s especially enchanting in Autumn!

We love the Upper East side too! Any hidden gems you can recommend to our readers?��

�������DZ��ܳٱ����.����on 105th is a must.�� Make sure you have a few minutes to spare as the lines are ALWAYS long, but well worth the wait.

��on 94th is a true treasure too. They have such a wide range of performances from Classical trios to Big Band concerts, stop by!

“British��American��works closely with Zola for our clients’ real estate needs. She has an incredible inventory, she is discreet and always makes sure our clients are taken care of and get the best deals, whether they are selling, renting, or buying. We highly recommend her.”��– Anita Rogers,��Founder and CEO,��British��American��Household��Staffing

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This year, Diwali runs November 2-6 with the actual day of Diwali falling on today, Thursday, November 4. We’ve gathered some of the best ways to teach children about the holiday and celebrate together this year.

Events in Your Area
�ճ������is hosting a series of events this week for children and their families, including crafts, storytelling, and performances. This Saturday, November 6, visit the��Chhandayan Center for Indian Music��for a joyous day of music, dance, and food. In Los Angeles, the trendy����is offering a��special menu��for Diwali featuring small bites and unique seasonal flavors, including punjabi style pumpkin. Miami locals can unwind with yoga, homemade chai, and select foods with��.����In London, book a table at Michelin starred��Gymkhana��to enjoy a special����through November 7. The menu features multiple decadent courses, with optional wine pairings, ending with chocolate mawa cake, or our recommendation – the cardamom and basmati rice kheer with fresh figs.

Diwali Crafts & Books
This year, PBS put together a list of their��top����– we love����for younger children and��Holidays Around the World: Celebrate Diwali : With Sweets, Lights, and Fireworks��for older readers. There are plenty of crafts for children of all ages to make to celebrate the festival of light, from lanterns to candle holders. Our favorites are the,����,��simple salt dough candleholder,��, and this��.

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Traditionally, Diwali is a celebration filled with rich homemade foods and treats. While meals vary widely from region to region and family to family, most feasts highlight the seasonal produce available, along with plenty of Indian sweets. We recommend these��(children and adults will love them!),��,��, and��. Throughout the celebration, indulge in��,��, or��(a great last-minute choice!).

Quick, Easy & Healthy Weeknight Recipes Kids and Adults Will Love

As the seasons change, our palettes and variety of seasonal produce do as well. This week, we’ve gathered some of our favorite cold-weather recipes that the whole family will love – and all are easy enough to make on a weeknight!

– The swap from red meat to turkey makes the dish a bit lighter and healthier but is still hearty and satisfying.

��–��Perfectly creamy, these mashed potatoes have a bright flavor that complements anything you serve with them.

– Children will love putting together and eating this fun dish. There are also endless variations – try adding shrimp, chicken, mushrooms, tomatoes, or even halved Brussels sprouts!

– Great for breakfast, lunch, or a side for dinner, this salad is quick and simple to make, and is filled with nutrients and fiber. Add a light vinaigrette and a handful of nuts or fresh herbs to make a more elevated version for the adults at the table.

��– These are a fun way to add vegetables to pizza night. Lay out a few toppings (don’t forget a good salami, a gourmet cheese, and maybe a spicy honey for adults) and let everyone in the family design their own.

– A quintessential fall recipe, this surprisingly easy recipe tastes rich and full of flavor but comes together in less than an hour.

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Halloween & Autumn Crafts
Crafts make great last minute holiday activities – whether your child will be celebrating with friends this weekend or staying home, add some simple October fun to the celebration using items you likely already have around the house. Using just pinecones, stick-on eyes, and pipe cleaners, children can make����(and a variety of other monsters if they choose!) to play with or decorate the Halloween table. Other easy crafts for younger children include a����,��,��toilet paper roll ghouls, and��. Looking for last minute Halloween decorations? Get the whole family involved in cutting and folding paper bats and you’ll have a��in less than an hour! For a more elaborate project (and one you can eat later!), try��a��; use the instructions as a starting point then get creative with pumpkins, ghosts, tombstones and more!

Spooky Recipes
For a fun at-home Halloween with children, there are plenty of spooky and easy to make recipes out there. Some of our favorites are��,��,����and��.��For even more, check out this list of��. For adults (or adventurous children!), we love����– the striking black noodles shine in a simple sauce or add olives or sun-dried tomatoes for a spooky (and delicious) mix-in. Follow the main course with a��,��, or��.

Curious Cocktails
Whether you’re hosting a spooky celebration or having a quiet night in, we’ve compiled some of our favorite Halloween cocktails. For a classic crowd pleaser, we love��classic��; not only is it delicious but your home will smell amazing while it simmers. To make it friendly to non-drinkers as well, consider setting it up as a ‘hot apple cider bar’ – serve the warm cider without alcohol then offer a selection of bourbons and other alcohol, as well as seasonal garnishes, like cinnamon sticks, apple slices, and cranberries. For a lighter cocktail that still feels festive, try the��. We also love the bright green����featuring absinthe and champagne.

Grown-Up Celebrations
If you’re looking for an elevated Halloween celebration outside the home, there are still tickets available to certain celebrations. In New York City, buy tickets to a��, featuring classics as well as Halloween favorites (such as Michael Jackson’s��Thriller��and several songs by Danny Elfman). In Los Angeles,��to see Jordan Peele’s popular thriller��Get Out��screened alongside a live orchestra playing the score, led by composer Michael Abels. Sunday night, the Banc of California Stadium is hosting a special event featuring a screening of����film, alongside live performances by Danny Elfman and Bille Eilish, and several other special guests. In Miami, consider attending����on Jungle Island; the spooky candlelit event featuring a string quartet, as well as food and beverages. In London, head out for a scary movie screening – at��, choose from screenings of��Scream, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hocus Pocus,��and more. The stunning����is hosting screenings of��The Witches, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and��The Shining.

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As we approach a busy holiday season, more and more people are choosing to travel again. Many parents out of the habit of traveling with children��and many new mothers may be traveling with their babies for the first time. These experiences can be difficult��for parents and children alike. Even on a private aircraft where you’re likely to have a bit more space and freedom, children may still experience challenges with takeoff and landing, with boredom, and with the change in routine and environment. This week, we talked to our top nannies, as well as our �ٻ���Ƶ team members who have their own children, about their top recommendations for improving the travel experience for both little ones and parents.

Prepare

You won’t be ready for every situation that comes up while traveling with children but you can avoid a few problems by planning ahead. When booking, try to choose either a direct flight or a flight with a longer layover. No parent wants to be running between flights with a stressed-out child. If you have a long layover, use it to regroup. Take the time to clean and organize toys, change diapers, refill water and milk bottles, and have a good lunch – and make sure you eat, hydrate, and take care of yourself too!

Think carefully about what to pack where and make sure all kid-friendly toys and snacks are easily accessible. Be sure to dress your child in layers so they’ll be comfortable during the whole journey door to door. Bring a change of clothes in case of an accident (and one for you if you might need it!). Do as much of the airport check-in process at home or on your phone as possible. Bring an extra bag for trash so you can keep the seat area a bit neater without waiting for the flight attendant to walk by.�� Talk to your children days before the flight and prepare them for what the day will look like – explain what they need to do at security and what the safety rules are on the plane – and, of course, help them get excited about the fun parts of the trip once you land!

Create a Safe Space

Flying, especially for younger children, can be a scary and overwhelming experience. However, there are a few things you can do to help children minimize sensory overload and feel safe. We suggest bringing a large, lightweight blanket to drape over the seat during nap time. The “baby cave” will help create a private, dimmed space, free of distractions. If possible, use children’s nap time��as a moment to recharge yourself – order a refreshing beverage, a snack, or read a few pages of a novel.

Children of any age will benefit from familiar and cozy items – pack a favorite pair of pajamas or a fleece onesie (even better if they smell like home!) to help them settle in during nap time. Try to mimic your at-home bed or nap time routine as much as possible – reading the same book and having the same toy as usual can go a long way in keeping a child calm and focused. Pack children’s headphones and a playlist of your child’s favorite songs – this can help calm a child during takeoff, landing, or any turbulence. Make sure to practice putting the headphones on at home ahead of time so children aren’t surprised by a new feeling.

Make it Fun

No matter the age of your child, distractions are key for the hours your child is awake on the plane. Bring a new toy or book for children; for younger children teething, bring a special teether or foam bath book. The experience of opening and engaging with a new toy can distract a child for a good length of time.����pages��are great for traveling – the markers only work on the special paper so you don’t have to worry about children making a mess on tray tables or seats. Sticky notes, finger puppets, and other small toys are great to pull out slowly through the trip as fun distractions.��This isn’t the moment to worry about screen time – sometimes giving a child an iPad loaded with their favorite movies or games is the best choice for a smooth ride.�� For travel, we recommend purchasing����to attach to all toys, so they won’t get as easily lost under the seats.

Snacks, snacks, snacks!

The changing pressure on takeoff and landing can hurt little one’s years – sucking or chewing can help this. Pack a bottle of breast milk or formula for young children (remember that formula and breast milk are not subject to the��same liquid rules aboard planes, but you will need to notify TSA during the security process) or a favorite snack for older children. We recommend having multiple, small, easy to eat snacks ready for children – this could be ready to go snacks like single serve goldfish and granola bars or pre-cut fruit, vegetables, and cheese in small reusable plastic bags (we love��). Bring a����and refill with new snacks whenever needed.�� Don’t forget to pack a special surprise treat your child loves that you can pull out in the event of a meltdown.

Stay Calm

Something will inevitably go wrong during the trip. Try to stay calm and remember you will get through it. During meltdowns, focus on your child and don’t worry about what other passengers might be thinking. Be kind and courteous to the flight attendants who assist you and your child. If you’re traveling with your partner or another adult, take turns with the children. Consider booking one adult seat with the children and one separately – adults can switch off caring for the children, allowing for stress-free breaks or sleep.

Book a Travel Nanny

Many full-time nannies will travel with the employer but if yours cannot, you may choose to book a temporary travel nanny for longer trips. If you travel often, we recommend hiring a full-time nanny who can assist with all travel needs. This nanny will be ready and willing to accompany your family on domestic and international trips whenever needed. The nanny will be able to pack for the children, plan activities for the plane and destination city, and make the trip stress-free for the parents and fun for the children.��British American can assist with finding temporary nannies, as well as full-time travel nannies.

Related Blog Posts

Tips For Traveling With Your Household Staff��

8 Top Water Safety Tips By Carrie The Nanny��

Glamping: Best Luxury Camping Trips in the Country��

Tips for Handling Nanny Sick Days��

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Holly is regularly featured on top websites and broadcasts across the country as a fitness personality. Her unique training style and infectious spirit have captured the audiences of the Dr. Oz Show, CNN, Self Magazine, Shape Magazine, Men’s Fitness Magazine, Prevention Magazine, The Washington Post, NY1 News, KTLA, TIME, Harper’s Baazar, Brides Magazine among others. She has 15 years of experience in fitness, including 10 personal training certifications and is proud to be a fitness writer for��, delivering the latest workouts to busy professionals.

Holly’s mission is to fight against the climbing obesity rates in America by encouraging people of all ages to start with small steps towards a healthy life.

Holly is the owner of����in San Mateo, CA where she and her team of trainers teach her signature����in person and online.

In 2014, Holly created��,��a non-profit after-school program, for 37 Fairfax High school students in Los Angeles, CA. The focus of the program is to motivate and inspire inner-city, low-income teens to eat healthily and create a career path for each girl. Girl Fit is catered towards girls ages 13-18 where girls learn goal-setting skills and how to live a confident and healthy life. Workouts are catered towards teamwork and focused on well-being instead of weight loss. Holly’s goal is to provide the tools for girls from low-income families to succeed in all areas of their lives while ensuring they have access to healthy foods and the knowledge to make the best food choices.

In 2020, Holly created,��,��an organic, plant-based, meal delivery service saving professionals time by curating every meal designed for weight loss. Renew meals are delivered nationwide. In her free time, she loves running up hills in San Francisco and going on walks with her two Pomeranians and husband Johnathan.

Holly, you’ve achieved so much at such a young age. You are a highly successful woman in the fitness industry with a huge following. Do you have a plan to return immediately to work or are you considering having some time off?

I am so excited to have �ٻ���Ƶ here to help me with my return to work! I am very picky about childcare needs as I have a team of employees to manage and 2 locations. I am only going to be able to take about 2 months off.

Congratulations on your baby news! What’s been the most challenging part of your pregnancy?

I had severe morning sickness for 3 months which made it very hard to work and do my daily activities. I tried to focus on how grateful I am versus feeling sorry for myself or focusing on the nausea. This was no easy task!

So many women feel pressure to snap back into shape after giving birth. What would be your advice?

Take your time to lose the desired weight you want, crash dieting and starving yourself doesn’t work. The slower you lose the weight the better chance you will have for fitness to become a lifestyle. You will lose the weight you gained during pregnancy if you eat a balanced diet and have a plan to reach your fitness goals. Be patient and make sure to train 3-4 days a week for the best results!

Many new mothers depend on newborn care and live-in nannies after their special arrival. Will you be adding a nanny to the mix to help you maintain and continue your workload in order to be both a successful woman at work and mother at home?

Having a nanny is essential to my happiness, my family’s happiness, and running a company. I wouldn’t be able to do what I love without the help of a nanny. I’m excited to learn from my nanny as I don’t have much experience with babies.

With nutrition being such a pivotal part of healthy living, has there been anything your pregnancy has hindered or changed with your usual food habits?

I’m not used to eating more than 3 times a day and being pregnant has made it very difficult to adjust to the recommended 4-6 small meals a day! Feeling hungry all the time and searching for fresh, protein-packed snacks is a challenge when you’re on the go. My family is Italian-American and traditionally Italians don’t snack. We never grew up having snacks in the house, we really develop our eating habits at a young age. I’m mainly snacking on apples and peanut butter, mini frittatas, and homemade protein bites.

Which high profile mothers in the public eye do you find inspiring and why?

I love the Olympic gymnast, Shawn Johnson. She has so much fun during her pregnancy, she is a joy to follow on Instagram. Her and her husband are always having the best time together and making the best out of an uncomfortable situation! They even did an underwater photoshoot in formal wear! I’d love to hang out with her for a day.

What app are you’re using right now that’s enjoyable and helpful?

My favorite app is the��. It tells you how big your baby is each week and gives you tips on how to deal with specific symptoms based on your week.

How can we lose some of our baby weight when pressed for time stuck at home?

A quick 20 minutes a day, with the proper moves will create a drastic difference in your body.��Start with free weights or resistance bands and do full body moves that help reduce body fat and burn more calories than cardio. You can also take one of our online private or semi-private workouts ().��Keep in mind to lose weight, reach 10k steps per day, which can be done on a treadmill at home or walking with your little peanut in your stroller.

How many minutes is recommended as a daily workout when pregnant?

You should aim for 30 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic training 3-4 days a week per the recommendation of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

Which is better, cardio or strength training?

Both types of training are beneficial, however, strength training and cardio combined are the magic formula to reduce body fat. Strength training burns more fat than cardio, and will provide a cardiovascular workout if HIIT is incorporated.

Is it safe to work out with a mask on?

It is completely safe to wear a mask while working out, you can wear a sweat wicking mask to help reduce discomfort. , lightweight and sweat resistant.

What should I eat before and after a workout?

The best thing to eat before a workout is a small meal containing protein and carbohydrates up to 45 minutes before your session. A piece of bread with peanut butter, hummus and crackers, greek yogurt and granola would all be excellent options. After a workout, aim for an item with protein and healthy fats like a sandwich, wrap, or even a sweet potato.

Do I need running shoes AND strength training shoes?

Running shoes are designed to provide proper support for your feet while they are hitting the ground at a fast pace. Running shoes add stability and cushion to your feet and joints, with this, it becomes difficult to strength train in them as they are usually bulkier. The bulk of the running shoe is not needed for strength training, and could cause injury while moving through your strength workouts. Both are equally important to invest in. For best results, a running store can do a gait analysis to help you choose the best option for your stride and gait.

Green juice VS eating veggies?

Juicing strips the fiber from your veggies, which is a key benefit to eating vegetables. It’s much��more beneficial to eat whole vegetables rather than juice them. Fiber helps us stay full for a longer period of time and also helps digestion.

Is it better to work out during the day or night?

The best workout is the workout you actually do. Check out����where I break��down the benefits of each!��As long as you get a workout in at some point during the day, you are doing awesome!

Tell us about a podcast that’s making a difference to your life right now…

My favorite podcast is the����podcast. He interviews CEOs and entrepreneurs who have the best stories behind their success. Tony is one of the most interesting people on the planet and always encourages people to focus on maintaining a peak state where nothing can bother you. This can help get anyone through the emotions that come with pregnancy. Focus on how grateful you are to be pregnant instead of digging into a spiral of negative emotions.

What brought you to �ٻ���Ƶ and why did you choose them for their childcare service?

As a busy business owner, I wanted to find someone who could match me with the best possible nanny rather than digging through unqualified applicants myself.��I’ve seen so many nannies��on the sidewalks while I run, all of whom are on their phones while walking, not paying attention��to their surroundings. You want to be shrewd in who you hire, as having the right staff who is properly trained is a priority with a child.

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Jada, you founded����to empower parents to positively manage their pregnancy, birth and postpartum experiences and outcomes through expert education and easy access to qualified maternal healthcare providers. Tell us what began this journey?

Boober was born organically, driven by market demand from parents struggling to find the basic support and help they needed after having a baby. I was running my first company, NYC’s top childbirth education and doula training center, Birth Day Presence, and saw a steep increase in my students calling us desperately, ready to give up nursing or feeding their babies in pain, unable to get the lactation help they needed quickly enough. I started giving out my personal cell phone number on a postcard, offering parents the opportunity to text for help in finding same-day care. I soon found myself coordinating visits with lactation professionals or running out of the house myself to help people with the simple basics of feeding their babies. I saw the improvement in front of my eyes; by the time I’d leave they had less pain, babies were feeding better, and parents were expressing their utmost gratitude and relief. With the texts coming in faster than I could keep up with, I knew it was time to create a platform that would quickly and easily connect new parents to qualified Lactation Professionals and the other in-person & virtual services and classes they needed to thrive from pregnancy to postpartum.

You also founded����– which is an incredible doula and lactation counselor training center. We know you also provided expectant parent education, supporting over 20k parents since 2002, before you moved the parent classes to boober. Can you tell us a little about this original company?

Birth Day Presence was my first baby. After realizing that birth work was my calling, I joined forces with another doula and launched Birth Day Presence to create a place for parents to find community and education while they transitioned to parenthood and to provide amazing training for care providers during a time when birth work was getting more and more professionalized. I love this business because we made a difference in the lives of so many, but it was a locally thriving business and I saw an opportunity with boober to make an impact at the national scale and improve birth outcomes for all.

Birth Day Presence is now fully dedicated to being a birthworker training center. With the advent of virtual training, we have been able to reach so many more people interested in caring for others as they navigate their new parenthood journey. ��Our education and doula matching services for expecting and new parents migrated to boober last year to create a holistic care solution.

You’re a birth and postpartum doula, childbirth educator, lactation counselor, birth photographer, mother, and step-mother. Is there anything you haven’t yet conquered that you have your sights set on?

Ending racism in birth care and ensuring that birth justice and equity become realities. As a white-owned organization devoted to transforming healthcare outcomes and experiences for expectant and new parents, boober has a responsibility to acknowledge and work to dismantle the racist systems which make birthing in the United States more dangerous for Black people. Racial inequities in maternal health are ubiquitous. Black birthing people are dying at three to four times the rate of white birthing people nationally and eight to twelve times the rate of white birthing people in our hometown, NYC, due to systemic and medical racism. We recognize that birth work is inherently political and we pledge to continually work to ensure that birth justice and equity become realities. To this end, we have lower platform fees for BIPOC (Black, Indigenous or People of Color) birthworkers, provide scholarships and pay-what-you-can spaces for our doula and lactation trainings and mentorship program.

Is there a book or podcast that’s had a deep impact of influence on your career journey?

I graduated from Wesleyan University with a double major in American Studies and Dance and focused my senior thesis on the medicalization of childbirth in America after randomly discovering a fascinating book about childbirth in the library called Spiritual Midwifery. I did not know the term midwifery yet, opened the book up and to my surprise saw many photographs of people birthing in a variety of positions and there were tons of incredibly positive stories about the physical and spiritual nature of giving birth, which was the complete opposite of anything I’d seen in the media before that. This book inspired me to learn more which led me to research for my thesis and ultimately to be invited to witness my first birth a few years later when my dear friend invited me (and 19 other people!) to photograph her birth at a freestanding birth center. I went to a birth conference in NYC after that, heard about doulas there and took a doula training soon after that and the rest is history!

How important do you think it is for women to have options and access to childcare when going back to the workplace after becoming mothers?

It is truly essential for birthing people to have support from pregnancy all the way through the childhood years. Because your baby grows up to be a toddler or a young child, the parenting expectations don’t get easier, they just evolve with them. The modern family is more isolated than ever and this means that we have to often rely on a network of trusted allies to help us raise our children: postpartum doulas, nannies – ultimately these people become our modern village. As Americans, we are the unhappiest parents of the developed world. Without built-in support we cannot easily navigate parenting and working and America needs to mandate paid parental leave for much longer than the scant 6 weeks or 12 weeks many parents get (often unpaid) in this country.

Why do you think it is that Doulas have become more popular recently for birthing?

Doulas are proven to reduce intervention in childbirth, to make people feel better about their birth experience, to reduce postpartum depression, and increase your chances of successfully nursing your baby. With the solid research around doula care, it’s no wonder people want this kind of support during labor. We used to get this from our families and would have our aunts, sisters, mothers, and other family members there to get us through birth and postpartum. Modern city-centric society and the annihilation of midwives at the profit of over-medicalized births accelerated the isolation of new parents and reduced the amount of deep care they received during labor, birth, and postpartum. With the over-medicalization of childbirth in the US, the c-section rate at its peak, and especially for Black and brown parents whose pain and needs are routinely denied or ignored and who experience racism throughout their childbearing experiences, people are using doulas more than ever because they not only want physical and emotional support, they need a person in their corner to help them advocate for themselves throughout the birth experience.

In recent years, as new generations become new parents, I am delighted to see this movement toward getting help and not having to do everything alone come to the forefront. More forward-thinking companies are giving their employees proper time off and even paying for some support (which we help deliver sometimes) and with time, a sense of urgency of challenging the miserable status quo, and more resources, people are finding the support they need to navigate their labor.

What advice can you give new mothers struggling with their mental health and in particular, Postpartum Depression?

Reach out and get help. There is no shame in feeling this is hard and feeling overwhelmed. We live in a society that has fed us the expectation that we can power through, that we ‘should’ be able to do this, that we “built for this,” etc. A parent is born when a child is born and there are no manuals for babies. Every baby is different and your circumstances can change on a dime. You don’t have to feel the way you do and help is at your fingertips, but accepting help is usually the hardest thing. Also, you can have anxiety or depression while pregnant and in fact, this is the biggest predictor of experiencing postpartum depression and anxiety of PMADs (perinatal mood and anxiety disorders). Know that this is normal and can be treated. Mental health therapy is proven to help pregnant and new parents on their journey.

Why do you think a company like �ٻ���Ƶ is an asset for families to have a service that enables support like nannies and newborn care?

We share a common mission to support parents to help them thrive and help comes in a variety of forms. Professional help with newborns and child-rearing is essential to many families nowadays who do not have family nearby, or when both parents have to work. Whether you are a stay-at-home parent, recovering from childbirth, or going back to work, all parents having access to a trusted network of vetted care providers makes all the difference.

What is the best piece of advice someone has given you as a mother and a step-mother?

“This too shall pass”. Simple but powerful few words to put things in perspective which is always hard when in the middle of a transition with your child.

How do you think the pandemic has affected pregnancy and birthing? And how can boober help with those hurdles of isolation and uncertainty during this time?

More stress. More isolation. More unknowns. Fewer babies too for some families worried about providing and safely bringing up babies. As soon as the start of the pandemic became clear to me, boober fast-tracked our launch of mental health therapists who focus on pregnancy to postpartum, because I knew this would be an incredibly important service for people carrying babies during such an unprecedented time. There was a brief time where fathers/partners and doulas were banned from the delivery rooms in hospitals and this caused enormous stress and fear. Boober created a class called Confident Solo Birth to help people who needed to go into labor without their in-person support. Boober also organized webinars with top OBGYNs and pediatricians to discuss safety with experts for pregnant people. We had almost 1000 people at the first one and know this helped parents feel more informed and less fearful. Boober continues to connect parents quickly and easily to classes and care that will help them thrive, even in a global pandemic.

Your incredible company empowers parents during their pregnancy and birthing process. Who or what empowers you and why?

Thank you! The daily inflow of thank you notes and amazing reviews from the families and birthworkers we have supported keeps me going and makes it all worth it to keep working hard day and night to get parents the care, education, and community they need.

What’s the best investment that a couple can make during their journey into parenthood and why?

Knowledge is power, so education provides a strong foundation for a smooth transition into birth and newborn parenthood. Taking classes is one way to accomplish this and I highly recommend that expectant parents come to childbirth education to learn all about their choices and options in childbirth and to learn pain coping techniques, positions for birth and so much more that can help reduce the need for intervention and leave them feeling more confident as they get ready to give birth. Investing in birth doula care is powerful, because as many studies show, doula care reduces your likelihood of having a c-section, increases the likelihood of feeling satisfied with your birth experience, decreases the likelihood of postpartum depression, increases the likelihood of successful lactation and so much more! Investing in a postpartum doula is another amazing way for new parents to ease the transition to parenthood. Postpartum doulas can help parents learn to care for their newborns and help them physically and emotionally recover from childbirth with daily visits. 92% of parents we surveyed told us they felt having supplemental care from providers who were not their doctor or midwife improved their experience. We also know that in other developed countries with supportive care built into pregnancy and postpartum, the outcomes are better for all. Whether in person or virtually supportive care helps people to thrive and we’d like to remove any stigma about getting the help you need.

You offer Sleep Consultants and Nutritionists as part of the boober services which is amazing. How important is a diet and sleep routine for the mental and physical health of a new parent?

Getting the right amount of food and sleep can impact our levels of feeling well or feeling more anxious and/or depressed. When a new parent begins to sleep 5 hours or less per 24 hours they are at real risk of developing anxiety and often it is their own anxious feelings that won’t allow them to ease into sleep. Mental health therapists can help the parent who is experiencing anxiety or depression. With the pandemic, the mental health issues of new parents soared and we launched mental health therapy support in the midst – we saw it as an essential part of their survival in this new reality. People were so grateful and we see this holistic approach as a necessity where each element contributes to your overall wellbeing. While it’s normal for a newborn to wake frequently through the night in the early weeks and months, it should diminish somewhat over time. A parent with a baby that is 16 weeks old and still having a lot of challenges when it comes to continual sleep can continue to affect the parent. In this case, a supportive sleep consultant can help parents set a better sleep routine for their child and their family and this may help the parents to feel a lot better if they are struggling.

When you are growing or caring for a little one, parents sometimes need support in prioritizing rest or the right kind of nutrition. Nutritionists can support parents who are struggling with something obvious like gestational diabetes and need to really shift their diets and they can also help pregnant people who never thought about eating well at all to moving into the ideal nutrition building blocks for pregnancy. Nutritionists can also be very supportive in what types of foods to eat to support a healthy milk supply or for the parent of the older baby who is looking to shift how their eating patterns. Introducing solids is also a massive shift for parents and babies and nutritionists can help ensure the child is getting what they need.

Finally, your baby has simple needs: eat, sleep, poop – so mastering the fundamentals in these areas means you will feel less stressed and your baby will be more content.

What words would you give a single mother who is pregnant right now and feeling anxious or alone?

It is normal to feel overwhelmed before welcoming a new baby, especially if you are a single parent. You can do it and building out your supportive care team ahead of time will help. ��Families come in so many forms these days – recomposed families, divorced, and single parents are now the norm and with help, you really can thrive. You are enough. But remember, nobody, even when there were two parents, had a new baby without extended support, ��so figuring out who can help, whether it’s family members, a postpartum doula, a nanny, a friend, a baby nurse, or some combination of care is right for you, can make an easier, smoother transition to parenthood.

For more information visit:��

The post An Interview with Jada Shapiro, Founder of boober & Birth Day Presence appeared first on �ٻ���Ƶ.

There’s an uncomfortable reaction around the word ‘miscarriage.’ For those hearing the news, and for those who bear it, communication can feel awkward and superficial. Unlike a death of a friend, a parent or a grandparent, there seems to still be a resounding taboo around knowing what to say or do in response to the loss of a baby that hasn’t yet been introduced to us.

This taboo extends to women’s bodies, especially women’s bleeding, whether it be menstruation or miscarriage.

It seems to make people feel very uncomfortable, perhaps because the subject either gets politely avoided or swept under the rug.

“People don’t want to know,” said Julia Bueno, a London-based psychotherapist and author of��On the Brink of Being: Talking About Miscarriage.

“It has taken a woefully long time for miscarriage to be taken seriously by the medical profession.” In the absence of knowledge and data, Bueno noted, women in their desperation for an explanation will find reasons to blame themselves. “They’ll say, ‘Oh, I shouldn’t have had that cup of coffee.’ The void creates a strong pull to blame oneself.”

British musician and TV host Myleene Klass told The Sun’s��Fabulous��magazine how her own experience of miscarriage awakened her sensitivity to how she talks to others.

“It’s really made me think about how I speak. I don’t ever ask anybody if they’re planning a family, ever. You just don’t know if the woman you’re speaking to is pregnant or trying or whether she miscarried last night.” Wise words.

Here at �ٻ���Ƶ we take pride in celebrating and supporting families and their journeys through the home, the workplace, parenthood, and all that’s in-between. It’s those in-between moments and milestones that measure our understanding and empathy. As we learn and grow, we invite our incredible clients and readers to join us.

We sat down with our wonderful,��multilingual Childcare and Senior Placement Specialist, Katherine Patterson.

Katherine, 38, ex-Governess and a lover of all things health, fitness and outdoors, was born and raised in the South West of England. Having impressively worked all over the world,��from Paris to Cape Town, it seems fitting that her love of travel and sense of adventure would eventually bring her to San Francisco��where she now lives with her husband, Ed, and 2 rescue dogs.

She bravely opened up with us to share about her own personal experience and the stigma surrounding miscarriage that can create feelings of shame and guilt:

I was 36 and this was my first stab at childbearing.��I had nothing to compare it to.��My pregnancy was intensely physically, emotionally, and psychologically challenging (oh hi there, Estrogen and Progesterone), but��I was acutely mindful of how lucky we were to have conceived naturally as quickly as we did, especially given that I was��over��35 (otherwise known as high risk and “Advanced Maternal Age” in the medical field).

I, therefore, scolded myself for feeling anything other than gratitude, even though I��was crippled by nausea, and seemed to be constantly, irrationally, and inconsolably sad and hopeless. I remember thinking this felt like far more than “the blues”. I was starting to feel duped by the slew of blissful early pregnancy images on social media – manicured hands cupping nascent bumps, curated backdrops, DIY placards, ultrasound scans and blithe, sunny hashtags. I couldn’t relate to any of it – most of the time I could barely peel myself out of bed. Instead, I found solace in what few authentic accounts of not-so-instagrammable pregnancy experiences I could find online. There weren’t many, but there were some, and they sustained me. I thank those women every day for keeping it so very real.

Like millions of women, I am 1 in 4. I’m inadvertently part of a secret club that nobody wants to join, even though members include the likes of Lily Allen, Jools Oliver, Michelle Obama, Chrissy Teigen and Meghan Markle, to name a few. It’s not a new phenomenon and it’s as unexceptional as it is indiscriminate, brazenly disregarding age, social status, religion, race, ethnicity, creed or other. In spite of this, the subject remains taboo, and the prevailing expectation is that women will endure the experience quietly, stoically…behind closed doors.

Though my story is one of so��very��many, my hope is that by sharing it,��and transparently contributing to the dialogue, other women might feel less alone and more empowered on their own fertility journey, whatever this looks like, and wherever miscarriage features along the way.

Of course, we all grieve differently. Publicly unpacking emotional trauma can be anything but a means of catharsis for some, especially as it pertains to miscarriage, which seems to be one of the most ubiquitous elephants in the room. But doing so becomes every woman’s prerogative if we normalize the narrative and do away with the abominable associated connotations of shame, failure, and guilt.

Perhaps we can eventually even address the term itself – “miscarriage” – a veritable misnomer with a prefix (mis) that implies blame. As if women have even a modicum of control over the outcome. Language matters – we deserve more respectful, more accurate terminology.

Pregnancy is a funny, compartmentalized journey. The unwritten rule of thumb is to keep the news to ourselves until we reach the end of the First Trimester, and then society has standardized the notion that it’s only appropriate to share that news if it’s good news. This amounts to a very lonely 12 or so weeks, where the physical, emotional, and psychological changes are typically most acute, especially for those women who’ve never experienced pregnancy before.

Those early weeks are a paradox – your pregnancy isn’t yet medically deemed “viable”, but you’re no longer who you once were pre-pregnancy either, which is only accentuated by the myriad of do’s and don’ts that shape your new normal – your diet, exercise regime, and general habits all look very different now. It can feel like you’re trapped in-between two worlds for what seems like an eternity. And if you’ve not shared your pregnancy with anyone, you’re inevitably more isolated in the event that things to do not pan out. Too many women have to muddle through a kind of solitary bereavement that is difficult to rationalize to the outside world, because there’s often nothing “tangible” to show for it.

Physical and emotional relief didn’t come, but my 12-week scan finally did. It only took a matter of seconds for me to read the situation – the expression on our OB-GYN’s face and her desperate attempts to pick up a heartbeat that we’d never come to hear. As her efforts to encourage movement from the tiny, lifeless bubble on the screen grew ever more frantic, a calm and resigned knowing filled my veins.

When she finally communicated what my husband and I already knew, my response was perfunctory and guarded, which took even me by surprise. I was too proud to burden her with my emotions, and I was utterly ashamed that my body, which I had determined was obviously broken, had failed at what it was biologically designed to do. I had failed our unborn child. We were told there’d been no growth beyond 7 weeks – this meant that there had been no heartbeat for over a month. Known as a “Missed Miscarriage” or “Silent Miscarriage”, I wondered how I hadn’t noticed – shame on me for not instinctively sensing something was wrong, as any decent mother surely would have. In truth, there are no symptoms, and women often continue to experience signs of pregnancy – it’s as cruel as it sounds.

The pressure to navigate next steps was swift and transactional. The options (natural/expectant, medical or surgical) were limited, but no less overwhelming. The overriding sentiment was that I should just wrap things up there and then. Being told to move on so quickly after having invested a quarter of a year attempting to nurture a life inside my body was such was a jarring concept. They said it would only take 15 minutes, and I could go about my life again, like a lunchtime beauty treatment.

This silver bullet they were so fervently encouraging (known as a Dilation & Curettage, or a “D & C”) also happened to be the most invasive and most expensive option on the table. It certainly has its place and I have friends who’d prefer to just rip the band aid and curtail the emotional discomfort (totally understandable) but I was extremely lucky that this route was not considered a medical necessity for me. I’m also intrinsically more holistic when it comes to health/wellness or anything medical, so surgery (however speedy) was never going to appeal to me.

May every woman be free to make an informed and safe decision when it comes to miscarriage – in a non-emergency situation, there is absolutely no right or wrong way, and we should all be given appropriate time to weigh up our options – it will never be a “one-size-fits-all” scenario. I did wonder how frequently women are encouraged to expedite this decision-making process when they are at their most vulnerable, as I was, and I’m forever grateful for the little voice inside my head that told me to rain check.

To be one thing one moment (that you so desperately want to be), then the antithesis of said thing just moments later, requires adjustment. And time to grieve. Like all the other women who’ve worn my shoes, I walked in a mother-to-be and walked out nothing more than a statistic, prescription in-hand. The tiny bump I so proudly donned was now an affliction, rather than a miracle. I left the building as quickly as I could, trying to un-see all the burgeoning bellies that peppered the waiting room. I felt like I was in a life-size game of Snakes and Ladders – I’d almost graduated to the Second Trimester, but I landed on a snake, and wound up all the way back at square one. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

Knowledge is power, and I knew no one would advocate for my body better than me, so I dived into the labyrinth of cyberspace. I had not anticipated that this would unearth a systemic failing in the way in which miscarriages are managed in the US, and that I would personally suffer the consequences. In a nutshell, if you decide to manage your miscarriage medically (as I did, at least to start with), then you should��be prescribed a combination of 2 drugs – Misoprostol and Mifepristone, as recommended by the��.* However, Mifepristone’s association with, and use in the treatment of, medical abortions means its availability is limited and many emergency rooms, primary care or prenatal clinics are not permitted to dispense it. It’s also expensive. This translates to the potential for a less effective outcome, which I experienced first-hand.

After being prescribed Misoprostol alone, twice, and experiencing an “Incomplete Abortion” on both occasions, I decided my body had endured enough. Letting nature take its course (known as “Expectant Management”) felt like the right path from here, so I proceeded to relinquish control and trust in my body’s capacity to take the reins.

It didn’t fail me,��and I questioned why I’d ever doubted it might, given that humans have been doing this for thousands of years. Our bodies know what to do, and when to do it. It wasn’t instantaneous, but I was very grateful to be in a position where waiting it out was an option.

I might have expected, rationally, that friends and family would express shock and sadness that I hadn’t confided in them and allowed them to support me. In fact, my confession was met with a shocking number of “me too’s”. Tragically, one friend said she hadn’t wanted to “inconvenience” anyone with her grief, especially since the world was already so preoccupied with the Covid pandemic.

Now, almost 18 months on, it’s clear we’re turning a corner. Social media and society as a whole are finally starting to embrace “real” motherhood. For the first time, a growing number of celebrities (men included – most notably, Mark Zuckerberg and James Van Der Beek) are leveraging their influence online and shedding the filters on their habitually flawless lives. In sharing the harder parts of the reproductive journey and validating both the ups and downs in equal measure, this is empowering mothers and fathers (who are not exempt from the emotional and psychological repercussions) the world over to follow suit. Naturally, it’s still too raw and uncomfortable for some, but the hashtags are gaining traction, and there have never been more resources, support, and honest accounts of pregnancy loss as there are now. It’s really a watershed moment.

To whoever needs to read this – wanting to be pregnant and struggling with the associated symptoms of pregnancy are not mutually exclusive. Similarly, not enjoying pregnancy because of said associated symptoms does not mean you’re any less grateful to actually��be��pregnant in the first place. As the statistics corroborate, if you experience a miscarriage, you are far from alone. Your body is not broken and there is nothing you could have done differently to change the outcome. Finally, however you choose to grieve, know that your grief is valid.

Ultimately, sharing not just the highs, but also the lows, begets relatability, authentic connection, and solidarity. Our shared struggles are the glue that holds us together if we only allow it to.

As I write this, half-way through the Third Trimester of my “Rainbow Pregnancy”, it seems most fitting to close with one of my favorite quotes:

“Everything will be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.” – John Lennon

For miscarriage and pregnancy loss resources and support, please visit��

More Resources:

The post Opening Up on Miscarriage, Isolation & Grief appeared first on �ٻ���Ƶ.

Here, we join them as they take our questions regarding fertility treatments and share their advice on how to perfectly balance the first steps of fertility treatment, from IVF to surrogacy, with their personable and private services designed by their impeccable team of specialists for you to begin your wonderful journey.

Q: What is involved in the surrogacy process?

A:��Surrogacy refers to an arrangement when one woman carries a baby or babies for another woman/couple and hands over the baby after birth.��The couple, or single person, who wish to have the baby are called the intended parents. The woman who carries the baby is called the surrogate. There is provision within the Human Fertilisation & Embryology Act 1990 as amended for the granting of parental orders for situations involving surrogacy as long as particular criteria are met. We strongly advise that you seek your own independent legal advice prior to embarking upon surrogacy treatment.

Q: Who are the people involved in a surrogacy journey?

A:��We will look after the medical side of treatment. In order to help you find a surrogate we work with two agencies:��Extraordinary Conceptions��and��Brilliant Beginnings.

The next question to answer is who the gamete providers will be, i.e. whose eggs and sperm will we use?

The options are:

• Eggs from intended mother
• Eggs from anonymous or known donor
• Eggs from surrogate

We typically��do not��recommend using eggs from the surrogate owing to the genetic relationship between the surrogate and the baby.

• Sperm from intended father
• Sperm from anonymous or known donor

In any surrogacy arrangement the gamete providers��will be considered an egg or sperm donor. They will be screened accordingly.

Treatment pathway ��

Surrogacy essentially involves IVF, with the created embryo(s) being transferred into the surrogate.

The gamete providers, surrogate and intended parents will first be assessed for their suitability both medically and psychologically.

The egg provider will then undergo ovarian stimulation, followed by egg collection. The eggs will be fertilised using the chosen sperm. The fertilised eggs will grow into embryos and be cultured in the laboratory for 5 days before being frozen. The embryos will then be quarantined for 3 months. At the end of the quarantine period the gamete providers will be screened again for infectious diseases.

The surrogate will then be prepared for embryo transfer. When she is ready, the chosen embryo(s) will be thawed and transferred. The pregnancy will be confirmed by blood test and scan in due course.

Q: How are surrogates and egg donors screened?

A:��Egg donors initially have a consultation with a doctor who will take a detailed medical history and perform a physical examination. The doctor will explain the procedure involved in egg donation treatment. The donor will then see a nurse to fill out some basic information about herself. She will then be provided with a letter, containing a medical history form that she must complete and have confirmed by her GP.

Once we receive the completed medical history form (provided everything is clear), the donor will be offered a session implications counselling, with an accredited fertility counsellor, to discuss the social and ethical issues pertaining to egg donation.

The donor will also be asked to attend the clinic for a vaginal ultrasound scan and hormone blood tests between days 2 and 5 of her period. These tests are performed to assess the current fertility of the donor.

All donors are then screened for the following:

• Full blood count
• Blood group and Rhesus type
• HIV and HTLV
• Hepatitis B and C
• Syphilis (VDRL)
• Cytomegalovirus virus (CMV) antibodies screening
• Chromosomal analysis – normal karyotype
• Cystic fibrosis screening
• High vaginal swab
• Chlamydia and gonorrhoea (urine test)

In some instances, additional screening tests are carried out.

Donors must inform the clinic of any medical information that may come to light after donation that may have health implications for any woman who receives treatment with their eggs or for any child born as a result of such treatment.

The screening process may reveal previously unknown conditions or infections, some of which may be treatable. Donors’ chromosomes are screened and therefore previously unsuspected genetic disorders may be brought to light. We will arrange referral to Genetics Counselling and provide support. In some situations genetic disorders may affect other members of a donor’s direct family and we will discuss the relevant issues with the donor should these come to light.

Immediately prior to starting her stimulation the donor will be screened once more for infectious diseases (HIV, Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C, Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea) by a new method called the nucleic acid amplification technique (NAT). In addition to providing a repeat set of results, this technique allows early detection of viral infections that may have a incubation period during which they cannot be detected by traditional methods (e.g. HIV can be dormant for up to 180 days).

Q: What type of Screening and Support do you provide for Surrogates?

A:��Surrogates are screened in the same way as donors, except for normal karyotype and cystic fibrosis carrier status since they are not providing gametes.

Q: How are parents and surrogates matched?��

A: Once the intended parents register on��Extraordinary Conceptions’ database, they will have immediate access to the online database and available surrogates, they can see pictures, some personal info like hobbies, diet, and history of past pregnancies, and deliveries and this way they can see if they may be interested in the profile. Once they find a profile they like, the agency will send over the surrogate’s medical records for review and pre-approval to the clinic. With the clinic’s approval, the agency will send over a questionnaire with the IPs general info to the surrogate for review and if she likes the profile the agency will coordinate a video call to introduce all parties and see if they may want to move forward.

Q: What legal and custody issues might same-sex couples and singles face?��

A:��Surrogacy treatment is a complex treatment, emotionally, psychologically and clinically. There are numerous complications that can arise, including:

• The surrogate may fail to handover the baby at the end and keep the baby.
• The commissioning couple may reject the baby if the baby is abnormal.
• In view of the above problems, it is better to have an agreement drawn between the relevant parties with the aid of a specialised solicitor.

Please note that commercial surrogacy is not allowed in the UK and hence no outright payment should be made to a surrogate at any point.

A question commonly asked by couples is whether the intended mother can breastfeed the baby after it is handed over by the host. The answer is: yes, it is possible and the intended mother can be prepared for this with medications.

Q:��What laws apply? Whose name goes on the birth certificate?

A:��English law

Under English law the person who gives birth is automatically the legal mother in common law. If she is unmarried, she may nominate the other legal parent, so this could be the intended father. If the surrogate is married or in a registered civil partnership, her legal partner will the second parent.

A parental order will then be sought by the intended parents for them to become the legal parents of the child.

Hybrid programme

We know there is a large shortage of surrogates in the UK and it can take years to find a surrogate. Further, the law is rather cumbersome in requiring the approval of a parental order, as detailed above.

Hence, we developed our Hybrid Surrogacy Program in partnership with Extraordinary Conceptions. Our Hybrid program allows our international clients to undergo surrogacy IVF, closer to home, with no waiting time to find a surrogate.

All our surrogates in the Hybrid program reside in the USA. Your surrogate will be screened as per our protocols and undergo embryo transfer at Harley Street Fertility Clinic. Afterwards, she will return home to continue her pregnancy and����to give birth in the US state where she resides.

Surrogacy is a legally recognised form of parenthood in certain states in the USA and as such, the intended parents can be the legal parents at birth. Thus, removing the need for a parental order.

Q: How much does surrogacy cost? Does insurance cover it?��

A:��The medical treatment up to pregnancy will cost approximately £15,000 – £20,000.

Surrogacy costs: there are several programs for the different budgets. Please view our����which also contains info about the insurance for the surrogate.

Q: How long does the surrogacy process take?��

A:��The medical treatment will take approximately 3-4 months:
1-2 months for screening and assessment
1 month for creating embryos
1 month for embryo transfer

Q:��What are the initial stages of IVF?

A:��1.��Preparation.��At Harley Street Fertility Clinic, we perform a thorough assessment prior to beginning an IVF treatment cycle and depending on the results, advise patients on pre-treatment preparation as indicated.

2. Ovarian stimulation��involves a course of daily injections of a stimulating hormone over a period of seven to ten days. During this period the ovarian response will be closely monitored using ultrasound scans and blood tests.

3. Egg collection & sperm sample.��The egg collection is a minor procedure typically lasting less than 30 minutes. The procedure is performed under mild sedation. On the same morning the male partner produces a semen sample (alternatively frozen or donor sperm can be prepared).

4. Fertilisation & embryo culture.��In conventional IVF, the prepared eggs and sperm are placed together in a culture dish to allow fertilisation to occur. The development of the embryos is monitored either daily, or continuously if time-lapse microscopy (Embryoscope™) is performed, for the next 5 days.

5. Embryo transfer. Depending on the development of the embryos and the patient’s history, embryos are transferred into the patient’s uterus on day 5 or 6.

Before considering any form of treatment, the doctor will perform a thorough assessment of your fertility. This will include ultrasound scans and hormone blood tests for you, as well as a semen analysis and possible further testing for the man. Without accurate information, a doctor cannot suggest the best treatment, nor can they optimise that treatment for your unique situation. Once a treatment plan has been devised, the doctor will advise on preparing the body for the treatment. This may include further assessment and treatment of your immunological response, nutrition and lifestyle. One of the key factors involved in having successful treatment is embryo implantation, which is a complex process. In order to increase the probability of implantation a relatively new process called endometrial scratch and saline hysterogram is offered to our patients undergoing IVF or ICSI treatment.

Q: What is the advised age limit for IVF treatment?

A:��There is no advised age limit for IVF treatment.

Q: How long is the IVF process from start to finish?

A:��It can take as little as 2 months (from consultation to completing embryo transfer).

Q: Is IVF painful?

A: IVF is not painful. The only operation involved is the egg collection and this is short procedure performed under intravenous sedation. You will be discharged within a couple of hours and fine to return to work the next day.

Q: What is the success rate of IVF?

A:��The success rate of IVF depends on a variety of factors (mother’s age, fertility profile, general health, BMI, lifestyle and so on). ��Our clinical pregnancy rates for women of all ages is 50% and this rises to 64% in women under 35.��We are a non-selective clinic and so we don’t turn patients away if they have a poor prognosis.

Q: Where are eggs/sperm/embryos stored?

A:��On site at our Harley Street clinic.

Q: Are there side effects from the IVF treatments?

A:��The only material risk from IVF is the possibility of multiple pregnancy and this can be minimised by transferring only a single embryo.

Q: Why is Harley Street so successful in their patient cases?�� ��

A:��Harley Street Fertility Clinic has been helping families to grow for over twenty years. Led by renowned fertility specialist Dr Geetha Venkat, our highly experienced team provides a personalised service that is safe, supportive and successful, in the state-of-the-art surroundings of our newly-equipped clinic.

Tailor-Made Fertility Treatment Plans
Our personalised fertility treatment plans are tailor made to suit you. We use the latest genetic testing techniques, advanced analysis and cutting edge technology to determine the approach that will maximise your chances of success.

Safe, Successful Treatment
Harley Street Fertility Clinic is proud to have one of the highest success rates in the country for IVF and IUI fertility treatments. We offer safe, proven techniques to enhance your chances of conception, and advanced analysis of the issues that could be preventing you from conceiving.

Friendly, Family-Run Environment
We’re proud to be a family-run clinic, staffed by experts who are passionate about helping you to become the parents you’ve longed to be. Patients often comment on how approachable, warm and caring our team are – we truly have your best interests at heart.

If you’d like to learn more about Harley Street Fertility Clinic, and how we can help you, request an initial consultation by calling 020 7436 6838 or contacting us through our website:��

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